How Does Permissive Parenting Affect The Child?
Permissive parenting is a style of parenting in which parents are very lenient and allow their children to make their own decisions without providing much guidance or discipline. This type of parenting can have both positive and negative effects on a child’s development.
Permissive parenting is often seen as a more relaxed approach to parenting, as it allows children to explore their own interests and make their own decisions. This can be beneficial for children, as it allows them to develop their own sense of autonomy and independence. It can also help children to develop problem-solving skills, as they are encouraged to make their own decisions and figure out solutions to their own problems.
However, permissive parenting can also have some negative effects on a child’s development. For example, children who are raised in a permissive environment may lack the necessary guidance and discipline to develop self-control and self-discipline. Without these skills, children may struggle to make good decisions and may be more likely to engage in risky behaviors.
In addition, children who are raised in a permissive environment may also struggle to develop a sense of responsibility and accountability. Without clear expectations and boundaries, children may not understand the consequences of their actions and may not be held accountable for their mistakes. This can lead to a lack of motivation and a lack of respect for authority figures.
Finally, children who are raised in a permissive environment may also struggle to develop healthy relationships with their peers. Without clear boundaries and expectations, children may not understand how to interact with others in a respectful and appropriate manner. This can lead to difficulty forming and maintaining relationships with peers.
Overall, permissive parenting can have both positive and negative effects on a child’s development. While it can allow children to explore their own interests and develop their own sense of autonomy and independence, it can also lead to a lack of self-control, self-discipline, responsibility, and healthy relationships with peers.
FAQs
What is permissive parenting?
Permissive parenting is a style of parenting in which parents are very lenient and allow their children to make their own decisions without providing much guidance or discipline.
What are the effects of permissive parenting?
The effects of permissive parenting can be both positive and negative. On the positive side, it can allow children to explore their own interests and develop their own sense of autonomy and independence. On the negative side, it can lead to a lack of self-control, self-discipline, responsibility, and healthy relationships with peers.
How can I avoid the negative effects of permissive parenting?
To avoid the negative effects of permissive parenting, it is important to provide clear expectations and boundaries for your child. It is also important to provide guidance and discipline when necessary, and to hold your child accountable for their actions. Finally, it is important to foster healthy relationships with your child’s peers.
They should've hung doctor spock from the tallest yard arm for this atrocious crime of flushing countless lives down the toilet
Some authoritarian parents reading this like "I knew I was being too nice"
This is some great insight. My step son has all of these qualities to a T. Its really hard to watch his parents be permissive. I know what he needs but being the step mom limits me and he has been parented like this for 13 years. He is with us every other weekend so its not easy. I'm trying to find tools for my husband to be able to change his ways for his sons benefit. He is 13 years old and I see it getting worse. The child really needs counseling and so much more but hes not getting any of that. I will continue to watch your videos. they are great.
OH. MY. GOD! You literally just described my nephew! You might as well have replaced all pronouns w/his name! I searched passive parenting because I have been trying to figure out & understand the root of his behavior, & I am fully aware of my sister's bad parenting. My nephew has been slowly changing since he was about 3 – 3.5 or so. Last year, OCS took the kids (he was about 4.5, and his sister was about 13 mos at the time), & placed them w/me. I've spent a lot of time w/them, but didn't realize the depth of his behavior problems until they lived here. And in that 7 mos, he didn't change one single bit. It was EXTREMELY FRUSTRATING! He would infuriate me! When he was around, it was constant chaos. My saving grace was when he went to school 4x/week. It was literally quiet. Well, after my sister got them back, she wouldn't allow me to talk to them for 2.5 mos, until she came back to town for a week. He didn't come initially, only his sister. She's changed a bit, but when he came, it took less than a day for the chaos to begin! It. Is. Constant. The problem is, my sister is SO toxic, that she won't listen to ANYTHING she doesn't like. So, my fear is that he will not only continue to get worse, because of her guilt parenting, but the baby will go down the same road. Idk if I can deal with him coming to visit in the future if he doesn't change. Is there ANYTHING I can do to help w/o my actually telling my sister? Sorry that this is so long.
Didn’t expect this. Amazing
I was highly blessed to have an upbringing that was firm without being overly strict. It's made me learn independence and at school I wanted to pass but didn't care for the highest of grades.
Huh. I was worried I’d see my own parenting here but I’m realizing…this was my parents. I won’t be passing it on.
I love your honesty, this is hard info to hear but critical to parenting properly. Thank you.
I remember her from World's Strictest Parents! She is fab. And absolutely right. The worst thing I hear a parent say is " my child is my best friend ". Meal time and bed time structures and pleases and thank yous are the basic starting points.
my mother was lackadasical and THIS i feel, SPEAKS to me!
I have a brother.
he was the trouble maker,
and I was the lonely one.
How does someone become addicted to thinking about their feelings? Where’s the research on that? Where is your degree in child development from? Have you taken any classes on child development from an accredited university? Where are you pulling your information. Speak to any mental health profession and they will tell you there is no such thing as emotional addiction.
why do people with health issues always end up telling others how to live
I think this is exactly how i grew up. I’m narcissistic but don’t have confidence. How can i fix this? Sorry for bad english
Many shooters murderers had parents like this. Ted Bundy, Martin Bryant, many school shootings in US. They always say they came from a good family and the parents were always so nice. Look closer; all had very permissive parents. Ted Bundy described his grandmother as timid and obedient, his parents did not care that he had no friends, he was charged with burglary and auto theft as a teen with no punishment or interventions. Read Marin Bryant's parenting style. They did not intervene or punish with any of his distrubing behaviour, they bought him guns, were nice. The dad was really nice and calm. In the end Bryant killed his father (it is listed as something else but it is not true) and the mum just didn't do anything at all. Repeat, repeat for all of them….
Quite honestly surprised this doesn't have as many likes as it should :/ But glad i found this video all the same^-^ Liked and subscribed, thanks for making this video:):)
Nicholeen what about high functioning autistic kids behaviors and what parenting style works the best
How does your model work when the parents themselves need healing? Is it done at the same time or is it line the oxygen mask where the parents “get their oxygen first” before they can hand off to another?
I e got oodles and oodles of parenting books and workshops in my head but none of them have ever been REALLY effective until I learned this past year that I have to deal with my own traumas that made me permissive in the first place. My growth so far has been wonderful but I still struggle to make and maintain boundaries. My hunch is that my trauma is boundary-based and I need to have that resolved first. Does your workshop help with that?
Very good! Permissive parenting is incredibly destructive!
I have these parents. I despise them for the way they raised me. I’m 16 now and am suffering greatly. They apologise way too much. There’s also a lack of drive and passion in the family. They’re always negative and one of them is abusive, manipulative and neglectful. Whenever I have an issue I respond immaturely in anger and just leave the room. They always end up apologising which makes me confused and upset. In some ways, it feels like I’m more mature than them.
Because one of them is abusive, the other parent is so lenient and allowing for them that whatever one parent asks of them, the other does for them, almost like a maid. One time my dad was taking a bath and spilled quite a large amount of water on the floor and my mother just cleaned it up. It made me so furious because if someone makes a mess, that is their responsibility to clean it up. And my father isn’t disabled or anything, he can 100% clean up after himself. It’s ridiculous. I despise my father the most. He is currently unwell and almost died and maybe this is very sick to think, but I genuinely just don’t care how he is feeling. In fact, I’d rather him dead (again probably a very messed up thing to say). But things would be 50% better if he wasn’t here living with my mother and I. I don’t understand how my mother ended up with a man 12 years older than her that somehow still acts like a child.
Also like I mentioned, my parents are neglectful. My mother probably doesn’t realise it or meant to be this way but they both are. I’ll give some examples: Until the 7th grade, I didn’t know you were supposed to use soap when showering. I didn’t know you were supposed to floss your teeth until recent. I thought deodorant was optional etc. I was never taught about puberty, s3x, life lessons, NOTHING. And when I recently became vocal about the fact that I don’t brush my teeth, my mother said that I’m almost a woman and should know how to be hygienic. How the hell am I supposed to be hygienic when you only taught me it one time? They were and are never consistent with anything they teach or instil in me.
Ive never seen the house not messy and not dirty at the same time. I have never seen my dad use a vacuum. There is dried food and stains everywhere around the house. Ever since my dad moved in last year (because my parents very divorced but my father had to move back here since my grandmother died) there has been multiple mice in the roof, backyard and in the house. This has never happened prior to last year because my mother and I have lived together without him.
Sorry for the long essay-like comment but i need to express what’s happening. I don’t know what to do anymore. I struggle with being productive and cleaning because the house is never clean anyways and my parents never force me to do anything. I absolutely hate it here. It’s as if I was in hell. I’m incredibly jealous of my friends because they have parents and homes that are normal. Like I mentioned earlier I’m 16 and I would like to be more independent but my parents baby me so much to the point where I don’t know how to carry myself. How do I develop self discipline, being emotionally mature, respectful and independent? It’s like I’m left to raise myself since they never did. If anyone could give me some tips on how to be a basic hygienic human being that would be greatly appreciated.
God, i feel this. lol, My parents are permissive parents, Thanks Mam for the video.
what if 1 parent is permisive and other is authoritative?
This is me but my child is now 16 so I'm guessing it's too late now. I wish I knew this before. Excellent video. Thank you for this!
I've been raised by a permissive parent for a long long time and I'm not yet an adult and I admit I'm selfish, lazy, and I lack work ethic. But I also have severe anxiety and I'm depressed sometimes and feel alone. I dont look like j have anxiety so, this never has alerted my my. I dont like authority from my Mom or people that I feel dont deserve my respect. I wouldn't say I'm horrible but I'm bad enough sometimes. I dont like to talk about things with my Mom so, is there anything I could do to help myself? Maybe to find a work ethic and follow through? I'm just an extreme procrastinator and I am lazy. But when I'm motivated I work hard and I'm happy to do it. If there's anything you think could help me help myself please let me know.
This is my ex best friend. Growing up, her parents let her do whatever, have whatever and disrespect them in any way. She is very selfish, she expects everything handed to her, she does not like advice, she does not see ahead to the woman she is becoming, she gets angry when people don’t listen to her, she is very depressed and anxious and finds herself in controlling romantic relationships to find the authority she so secretly craved. None of her friendships lasts on account of her. It’s a shame our friendship had to end because I started setting up personal and financial boundaries which she did not like.
I really appreciate this and committed to learn and do better!
The single most helpful parenting video I’ve seen since my child was born 5 years ago
Thank you so much for this video. It has woken me up to the fact that perhaps we have been parenting our 7 year old son in this way for quite some time now.. It would be great to have some kind of follow up video maybe with strategies for parents who have permissive parented and who wish to overcome this. Your video sent shivers down my spine
Just discovered you. Excellent content, presented so nicely and clearly. Thank you very much!
Thank you for this video! my sister in law AND brother in law are permissive parents. They have a 2.5 year that has been throwing constant tantrums, hitting her own mom, hurting her 7 month sister like biting her. You can’t give her sister anything like a toy to play with without claiming it for herself. Around my 1 year old daughter, she is hitting, biting, and taking toys (just to name a few misbehaviors) at all cost to get what she wants. She constantly must get what she wants, and her parents regularly oblige, such as giving her the toy she wants, even at the expense of my daughters happiness in order to avoid her extensive, loud tantrums. When it comes to discipline, even when she has hurt someone, her parents simply tell her “stop. Don’t do that. No!” And that’s it. sometimes this happens across the room. No timeouts, privileges taken, etc. But I’ve had enough since she started hitting my daughter. I cringe every time I’m told they’re coming over or we’re visiting. She’s such a smart, smart girl and I love my niece but her misbehavior and the permissiveness of her parents is hard to watch. And it’s just getting more and more obsessive and ridiculous. She follows my daughter to take her toys (my daughter’s) in our home, she doesn’t let my daughter sit or be alone with their Granpa, and anything my daughter does, such as dance, she needs to dance too to get the attention. My emotions are up and down in this situation. I hope things get better.
Omg. I love your video. Your message helps me notice my blind spots. Stuff I overlook by being loving and permissive. I have neurological challenges so struggle with routine and structure myself so i kind of disregard enforcing this with my child. But the way you explain it.. makes me want to try harder to try bring some structure into our lives.
What’s your opinion on permissive parenting to a child who has cancer?
A child who’s been on chemotherapy since 6 months old and currently 3.5 years.
I have people who tell me I permissive parent because I myself had a terrible child hood. Yes this is true, I want to love my child better than I was loved. However, I feel like until she’s off of chemotherapy I should be more permissive until she is off of treatment.