How Unloving Parents Generate Self-Hating Children
Raising children is a difficult task, and it is not uncommon for parents to make mistakes. One of the most damaging mistakes a parent can make is to be unloving towards their children. Unloving parents can create a toxic environment that can lead to a child developing self-hatred. This article will explore how unloving parents generate self-hating children and what can be done to prevent it.
What is Unloving Parenting?
Unloving parenting is a form of parenting that is characterized by a lack of warmth, affection, and emotional support. Unloving parents may be emotionally distant, critical, or even abusive. They may also be neglectful, failing to provide their children with the basic necessities of life. Unloving parenting can take many forms, but the common thread is that the parent is not providing their child with the love and support they need to thrive.
How Unloving Parents Generate Self-Hating Children
When a child is raised in an unloving environment, they may begin to internalize the negative messages they are receiving from their parents. They may start to believe that they are not worthy of love or that they are not good enough. This can lead to feelings of low self-esteem and self-hatred.
Children who are raised in an unloving environment may also struggle to form healthy relationships with others. They may find it difficult to trust and may be overly critical of themselves and others. This can lead to further feelings of self-hatred and isolation.
The Impact of Unloving Parenting
The impact of unloving parenting can be far-reaching and long-lasting. Children who are raised in an unloving environment may struggle with mental health issues such as depression and anxiety. They may also struggle with substance abuse and other forms of self-destructive behavior.
Preventing Unloving Parenting
The best way to prevent unloving parenting is to ensure that parents are equipped with the skills and knowledge they need to provide their children with the love and support they need. Parents should be taught how to provide their children with positive reinforcement and how to set healthy boundaries. They should also be taught how to recognize and respond to their children’s emotional needs.
FAQs
What is unloving parenting?
Unloving parenting is a form of parenting that is characterized by a lack of warmth, affection, and emotional support. Unloving parents may be emotionally distant, critical, or even abusive.
How does unloving parenting generate self-hating children?
When a child is raised in an unloving environment, they may begin to internalize the negative messages they are receiving from their parents. They may start to believe that they are not worthy of love or that they are not good enough. This can lead to feelings of low self-esteem and self-hatred.
What is the impact of unloving parenting?
The impact of unloving parenting can be far-reaching and long-lasting. Children who are raised in an unloving environment may struggle with mental health issues such as depression and anxiety. They may also struggle with substance abuse and other forms of self-destructive behavior.
How can unloving parenting be prevented?
The best way to prevent unloving parenting is to ensure that parents are equipped with the skills and knowledge they need to provide their children with the love and support they need. Parents should be taught how to provide their children with positive reinforcement and how to set healthy boundaries. They should also be taught how to recognize and respond to their children’s emotional needs.
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So, so well explained. Anyone on here that is trying to heal from childhood trauma, I am sending you lots of well wishes. You’ve got this. X
This is very true and the saddest thing it's that most parents are not even mean or evil people but they just don't know anything about proper education. They rely on the idea that a child forgets everything within a few minutes. So for them it doesn't matter what happens to you because you are just a child and as long as you have food and shelter you'll be fine 🙄🙄🙄
The root of every single problem in the world, from war to crime to pedophilia to drug addiction….lack of love by incapable parents.
My mother called me the biggest mistake of her life. That crushed a significant part of my soul. I am nobody.
After reading the comments it doesnt come as a surprise why the world is getting worse. I thought that I was stupid and ugly when I was young. I couldnt understand why other kids wanted to copy my schoolwork. I was afraid and worried all the time. There were times I prayed that I would die.
When I was older I ruined my back from working myself to death and was so anxious that I eventually had to have a couple operations. Now I am in constant pain most of the time. One of the reasons I kept going back to Thailand was because the Thais treated me better than my own family, there were a couple times I cried when it was time to go back home.
Extreme Narcissists are the bane of society. 😥
Can you make a channel with translation into Russian? It would be very cool. Great content!
Though my father and mother forsake me, the LORD will receive me.
-Psalm 27:10
My parents don’t deserve me. Nobody deserves me. They were jealous of my light and wanted nobody to enjoy it including me. I’ve had random strangers be kinder to me than my own kith and kin. Oh well, I want to move past it but forgiveness is not really in my dictionary
Nicely put. But parents are not the only villains. Schools and teachers are sophisticated influences on a childhood, as are religions, corporations and the state. The trusting child faces many hostile, indifferent and self-interested guardians. All profess love or care, and practise control. It is a marvel that children grow up at all.
I worry so much that I know someone who’s kid is probably going to feel this and it makes me sad and mad
i remember my father beating me for crying and it just made me cry even more… now i cant express my emotions… i did not even cry at my great grandma's funeral… i'm healing but its honestly very tiring
After going through 20 years of abuse, I genuinely think there should be compulsory parental training, and only whoever passes the exam by demonstrating excellent parenting skills and knowledge gets to reproduce and raise a child. Everyone else should be banned having kids. That would save millions of unborn babies from intense physical and emotional abuse.
try getting bullied at school and at home with parents to busy with work;
Parents were also very controlling and authoritative in most interactions, most were negative memories. My brother is 10 years older than me but ive always been more mature than him, im sure he threw more tantrums than me..
advice to those strugling with hatred and resentment,
"forgiveness isn't something you give others, its something you give yourself so you can heal."
– some quote i heard somewhere…?
If you cannot love or take care of a child or baby, then why did you have one in the first place? And yet religious extremists don’t want you to have an abortion, hmmmmm?
I am really thankful for this comment section. It’s healing!
(FACTS OVA FEELINGS). Identify the Quality of CHILDREN tha Eu wud Like to Emulate and then Emulate Them
I can't wait until this world engulfs me in flames and cleans up the stain I left on this place. Both of my parents regret my existence. My mother regrets giving birth to me and my father regrets meeting my mother. Nobody in my family gives a rat's ass about me. If I was gone tomorrow, nobody would even notice. If I wasn't so bitch-made, I would have offed myself a while ago.
This is so sad…it's hard to wstch
As a child I was told I was a mistake. That after being born disaster fell and my father died 3 years later cause of me. I lived in my mum contempt, used only to elevate my other 2 elder sons. She allowed me to get bullied and beat me when I complained. As an adult I don't have any confidence. I feel so alone.
Why do people who are mentally unstable the most keen on reproducing.???
The people who should have kids don't want them and the people who shouldn't ideally exist given their ISSUES are the ones who actually have a whole lot of kids.
We spend our adult lives overcoming our childhood. Some do it quicker than others. Some do it not at all. It takes personal courage and strength. This is the actual meaning of bravery.
How can I like this about 1000 times? 😢
This feels like a hug and like a bomb at the same time.
What if you have loving parents and still want to die
Bad parenting leads to self hatred, depressions, depts, loss of family, loss of friends, homelessness, addictions or worse. However, if the child remains resilient in some way, or the resulted self hatred turns into self compassion eventually, depressions can turn into motives. Even years later on. Depends on how far you've ruined your child from the inside out. And how much the lost child still values its freedom and its privileges.
That was my childhood in a 5 minute nutshell.
this in March2023 – my own childhood was so traumatic with mother and father wound both, even as i do my best to reparent, heal and grow positively, i'd NOT DARE to have kids myself. the childhood i've had has made me swear off of parenting. i don't wish upon my worst enemy to have childhood like mine. so ofcourse i won't have children to protect them from a life this painful.
What we didn't get in the past, we probably won't get in the future either. This is the part of the blade that nobody ever feels. Because when you have an attachment wound, it colors every single relationship you have, almost to a point where you don't want to have it anymore, cuz you cant trust yourself otherwise.
My family didn't want me to exist, not in their family or anywhere else in the world. They lacked the boldness needed to murder me outright. So they just relentlessly tortured me emotionally.
This hits home so hard for me. Thank you
That’s so incredibly sad 😢 sorry to everyone who lived through this 😢😢😢 one time this guy told me as me and some friends went out at night for someone’s bday, how he and his mother didn’t love each other, and I was confused and thinking maybe he’s just saying that… maybe I couldn’t handle such a possibility..
Glad that man already died, i didn't go to his funeral, i didn't even know where is his cemetery. I don't care. He made my life hard and full of trauma that everyday i wish that i never be born at all
These types of parents are the ones that guided the world to being the way it is today.
Yet those who did the bad parenting are the ones who make excuses and rather blame the younger generation(s).
This made me so sad, I could barely get through the whole video. Some horrible, selfish, self absorbed people should NOT have children. Do yourself a favor that if you are a clinical narcissist or emotionally immature DO NOT have children. They deserve all the love and attention in the world from their parents; they did not ask to be born. It is YOUR responsibility and if you cannot give fully of yourself to an innocent life, DO NOT have children until you are ready if ever.
My mother was a piece of shit who never touched or held me, and she cut part of my penis off so I wouldn’t experience pleasure or learn to love. She died an excruciatingly painful death of ovarian cancer and is in Hell now.
I hate her squeaky, inane voice. Since started narrating on SOL videos, I’ve stopped watching. To go from Alain to this?! As bad as the bloody SOL app.!!
I always feel like my parents use me as a punching bag in other words “their way of releasing their anger”
Meanwhile my sister always gets things her ways and getting the good life.
– She’s the one who’s successful in life
– She never gets yelled at(not as much)
– My parents believe in her more to grow then me they think I’m stupid and I know idk how to do things at times they still have no right to loose faith in me. Even if they say “I know you can do it” I don’t believe it
– Sister is the one with friends, other family members that love her and always mention her or wonder where she is. Nobody acknowledges my presence as much.
My parents are soo bad I hate them the most .my parents are keep fighting, arguing. My father is in army so when he come ,my mother start arguing and later I found that my mother is lesbian and she has affairs and now she is in affairs with a lady and that lady is married and has kids also.My mother give more impotance to their kids rather than me . I have my younger sibling too but she cares for her more than me and always ignore me and sometimes she insult me infront of that lady when she come to our house . I am not close to my parents,I even don't call my father… dad " because my mother never allow me to and she always try to keep me away from him .
I'm glad my father died when he did. He really didn't deserve a longer life.
I'm 26 and my parents still manage to tell me trying to convince that I'm the reason they're always fighting now being in a relationship literally sends me to paychoais
Thats why I am an anti-natalist. Bringing a child to this world is morally wrong.
Even if this happened to you. STOP feeling sorry for your self & STOP blaming your parents. Life happens. Sometimes we get lucky, sometimes we don't. But to sit there feeling sorry for ourselves & hating on our parents won't do any good. Embrace who you are as a person. Forgive & Nurture & Love your younger shadow self , be the parent/partner/best friend you never had. Forgive your parents. Love them too.
Just don't get dragged into drugs & such. Ain't worth it.
Start fresh. World is big. There is place for everyone here. You'll find your way. Don't worry.
Why don’t my family ever visit me? Why do I always have to visit them? Are they not curious to see where I live? don’t they understand how weird it is? all I hear is about how hard it is to get to me, about half an hour by car or train, makes me feel so lonely and weird that coming to me is such an effort when I go to them at the drop of a hat, tired, at my expense and time but obviously most of the time I don’t mind I want to visit even if for just a few minutes to see how they are doing and how their homes are or if they need help with some DIY, I’ve really needed help and they simply won’t come??? Am I crazy? It’s just weird? I’ll never be like this to my son, as soon as he moves somewhere I’ll visit, I’ll swing by often just to let him know he’s loved or to give him a hand? He’s my friend isn’t he??? I don’t understand
My Mom always felt meh about me. My father never had the time for me, half the time it was just an excuse, he didn't even miss me. It was so frustrating. Half the time she just looked mildly pissed at me for no reason. Like this passive agressive friend who always tells you "It's fine!" but deep down you know it's really not. It's so unfair. I was one of the best kids I knew. I was cheerful, had curiosity, always smiling, good in school and well-behaved. I did my best only to receive bread crumbs.
There was an experiment with babies a long time back. One group got love and affection and the other ones just got fed, changed, washed, etc. The ones who got love and affection grew up with a normal mindset and healthy for those standards at that time. The other one didn't have good results. From what I've heard. So it would have to show us how much that will do for us as humans. All the hate is affecting us. There's a rat experiment that was done and is just as interesting and has some eye opening revelations to our society as well. It's the brain. We are hardwired to be a certain way by our experiences.
Maybe you shouldn't refer to a child as "it".
He or she is a person. Treating a child as an "it" destroys a child's sense of self-worth.
Dr. Doofenshmirtz still tried to please his father with the gnome he brought him after the horrible ways his dad treated him, and even when he got him the gnome the dad still favored Roger. Heinz Doofenshmirtz needs to stop trying to please his parents and realize that his parents are the problem and not himself.
This video again reminds me of Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz from Phineas and Ferb who grew up with cold and unloving parents who were not impress. Dr. Doofenshmirtz always made a lot of effort to impress other people, including his own daughter Vanessa, but failed every time with everyone getting angry with him for what he did
You talk about failing to charm their parents. Children aren't fucking supposed to charm their parents, they should be adored and accepted just for being. Perhaps you had to charm your parents in order to get approval. Either way, it's a sign of pathology on the part of the parents.