Authoritarian Parenting: Parents and Their Role in Raising Children
Parenting is a complex and challenging job. It requires a lot of patience, understanding, and dedication. Parents have to make sure that their children are safe, healthy, and happy. They also have to provide guidance and support to help their children develop into responsible and successful adults.
One of the most common parenting styles is authoritarian parenting. This style of parenting is characterized by strict rules, high expectations, and a lack of warmth and affection. Parents who use this style of parenting are often referred to as “tiger parents” because they are very demanding and have high expectations of their children.
What is Authoritarian Parenting?
Authoritarian parenting is a parenting style that is characterized by strict rules, high expectations, and a lack of warmth and affection. Parents who use this style of parenting are often referred to as “tiger parents” because they are very demanding and have high expectations of their children.
Authoritarian parents believe that children should obey their parents without question. They also believe that children should be punished for any misbehavior. This style of parenting is often seen as a way to instill discipline and respect in children.
The Pros and Cons of Authoritarian Parenting
Authoritarian parenting has both pros and cons. On the one hand, it can be effective in teaching children discipline and respect. It can also help children develop a strong sense of responsibility and self-discipline.
On the other hand, authoritarian parenting can be overly restrictive and can lead to feelings of resentment and rebellion in children. It can also lead to a lack of communication between parents and children, which can lead to a lack of trust and understanding.
How to Be an Effective Authoritarian Parent
If you are an authoritarian parent, there are some things you can do to be more effective. First, it is important to be consistent in your expectations and rules. This will help your children understand what is expected of them and will help them develop a sense of responsibility.
Second, it is important to be firm but fair. You should be willing to listen to your children and take their feelings into account. This will help them feel respected and will help them develop a sense of trust in you.
Finally, it is important to show your children love and affection. This will help them feel secure and will help them develop a strong sense of self-worth.
FAQs
What is authoritarian parenting?
Authoritarian parenting is a parenting style that is characterized by strict rules, high expectations, and a lack of warmth and affection. Parents who use this style of parenting are often referred to as “tiger parents” because they are very demanding and have high expectations of their children.
What are the pros and cons of authoritarian parenting?
The pros of authoritarian parenting include teaching children discipline and respect, helping them develop a strong sense of responsibility and self-discipline. The cons of authoritarian parenting include feelings of resentment and rebellion in children, a lack of communication between parents and children, and a lack of trust and understanding.
How can I be an effective authoritarian parent?
To be an effective authoritarian parent, it is important to be consistent in your expectations and rules, be firm but fair, and show your children love and affection. This will help your children understand what is expected of them and will help them develop a sense of responsibility, respect, and trust.
My mom is an authoritarian, and I was the only 1 out 3 siblings that rebelled. My other 2 siblings were afraid. My mom demanded me to always listen to her no matter what the situation was. I never had a say in anything. There was constant yelling and guilt shaming by her. No help with school work. Demanding high grades but then did nothing to try and help. Just say you better get good grades this year or else..she would just yell yell and yell some more. There was very limited warmth. And the warmth she put out was directed towards her own feelings never towards any of us. I became bitter towards her and limit my interactions, and always will.
I was parenting this way by my dad. Once I was grown I cut his involvement in my life to absolutely nothing because I needed space to heal.
Being made to write passages out of the Bible for not helping to find a pair of glasses, or having homework taken away because you didn't obey one command, or being told you're sick in the head and need to get checked every other day.
Being told you can't be trusted to make your own decisions at 23, 24, 25.
Enough opinions. Facts don’t care about feelings. What are the average incarceration rates, average income, average drug addiction rates of children reared in each form of parenting style?
This is the parenting style lacking in America
My mother was authoritarian like crazy and my dad was neglectful because he was never around and was cheating on my mother (this is a fact). I was raised in an environment with constant arguing, yelling and screaming and my mother used me on many occasions to "investigate" whether my father was cheating. She would have me snoop in his car or snoop his email and then report back. Mother even sent me (as a teen) to ask my father if he had a girlfriend and report back. She confided in me throughout my childhood and teen years about what he said and did and has even asked my advice (as a teen) as to whether or not she she divorce him. My mother provided me with no privacy as she constantly went through my bookbag (even in the 12th grade) and monitored my phone calls with friends. There was also a constant theme of "dont be like your father" and telling me that my father didnt care about me. The effects of my authoritarian mother and neglectful father still hurts to this day and it makes me not want to have a relationship with them.
I have to learn how to put on a condom through porn because my dad was never around. I still cant tie a tie but youtube helps with that. I dont know how to change a tire.
Because of my mom's authoritarian style, I am extremely passive and Im very scared to assert myself when I should. I get taken advantage of alot. someone
I have lonely and have a hard time making friends. I feel as if my identity was taken away and that I was trained to be what my mother wants me to be or think how my mother wants me to think as opposed to having my own opinions. The video is totally correct when they say that the effect of an authoritarian parent results in the child not knowing how to make a decision because I am constantly confused as to what I want and I constantly seek validation/approval of others before making a decision.
Currently, my mother and father have reconciled (now that they are 67 and 68 years old) and expect me (41 years old) to pretend like none of this happened. They dont believe that their past martial struggles should have affected my upbringing and I have yet to receive an apology.
This whole situation makes me cry (which I am doing now) constantly and I have trouble sleeping sometimes because I am thinking about why this happened.
Any advice on how to move on from this? I have very low self esteem, I have trouble making decisions, and I constantly seek validation. It's like I dont know who I am as a person because my mother made me be who she wanted me to be.
I am learning about this now as a student in clinical mental health. Unfortunately, I raised my own children like this due to religious views, and belonging to an authoritarian church. I've done a video recently to talk about the mindset of parents that raise your children like this. I am not commenting just for somebody to take a look at it, but there are reasons. Sometimes parents go to these extremes of feeling that they have to be the total authority in that child's life. Sadly, I see from my daughter who was the oldest the results of this type of parenting. She struggles with depression and trouble making decisions. https://youtu.be/FRVREqRFs0A
Hands down the best parenting style. I am a parent, and my children have cousins raised in the more modern manor.
All of them absolute terrors. My kids are kind, considerate, polite, and guess what? There also very competent and capable, way more so than others their age. They are AMAZING problem solvers and decision makers. Authoritarian parenting is the correct way, and it doesn’t preclude you from encouraging, loving, supporting and teaching your kids. It just means that they have to respect that you have the final decision, and disrespect will not be tolerated. The entire world is like this and they will use those lessons later on.
Not hypocrite authoritarian but clear honest you are always right because you do what you say type of authoritarian. Never force
Wish I could show this to my parents
Spankings given are better then this style of parenting
I don't really agree totally with you however I think there is a place and time for authoritarian parenting and that does not entail spanking
Im the result of authoritarian parenting. I am 32 years old living with these results. There are a lot more negative outcomes from this style of parenting, trust me. To this day, my parents keep thinking that they are in charge of me. I have to constantly remind them that they cant do sh!t to me. Leaving home at 20 was the best decision I ever made even though i went through some serious struggles.
I believe authoritarian parenting comes from the Parents who made serious serious mistakes in their past time and have great fear that their children will repeat those mistakes so they try to control and live through their children. I also believe their parents used to hit them senselessly so as long as they didn’t hit us, they were considered “the world’s greatest parents” in their head.
Here are my results of Authoritarianism… some are positive and a lot are negative.
Low self esteem.
Anger issues because I never had a fair opportunity to stand up for myself and speak my mind.
Being afraid of taking a risk.
Being afraid of standing up for myself when I sense bullsh!t.
Being a Yes man at work.
Short end of the stick.
Being the nice guy who finishes last.
Being a compulsive liar as a teen to shun my parents away.
Not everyone has the same results of authoritarian parenting but from the articles ive read and the videos ive seen, the results arent far apart
Ok ok ok i can keep going on with these negatives so now I will shift to the positive.
I am very respectful.
I don’t talk back to my bosses (it really gets you nowhere if you do)
I am a gentleman, my wife absolutely loves me for that.
Very few people dislike me.
A lot of people say that I am a good leader not because of authoritarian but because of influence.
my dad is authoritarian and my mom is a mix of uninvolved and authoritarian. I have always struggled with math and I was terrified to ask my dad for help because after explaining it once and still not understanding it he would yell at me and call me stupid even though I was like 7 years old. My mom would refuse to take me anywhere unless my dad told her to and she never cared about how my day went. In elementary I would see parents pick their kids up or have lunch with them and ask how was school and the kid would talk forever about their day, with my mom I would start talking then she would interrupt and say "you should write a book" and change the subject. My parents love having control over me like i'm supposed to be a doll, if I start crying they tell me to suck it up, when I get mad they yell at me and talk down to me until i cry, they put restrictions on my phone and when I ask why they say because I don't trust you. They bring stupid things up that I did when I was in like 6th grade (11 years old) even though i'm more mature and older and hold it over my head. My dad holds money over my head. My mom holds my insecurities over my head.
Hey
horrible parenting style
Very true
I'm no parent but if i was i would love my kids never to physically or psychology abuse them. I love them as i hold them Dearly. Strongly and fair.
my struggles have never been valid.
I'm always just too dramatic or overreacting.
I'm always in the wrong.
Authoritarianist parents and continuous bullying nearly broke my mental fortitude. I was forged in that flame of rebellion.
I don't see anything wrong with some of the aspects of this style because if you continue to give these kids leadway they will run over you over and over
Theres some conditioning trough fear, like me, i was taught to be perfect, just to get some friends, because i was allways in fear of being rejected, its a complicated way to educate children and thats bad and sad
I don’t appreciate my mom for using this kind of parenting. She isn’t a full authoritarian, but when she speaks up, she expects me to do all chores, get grades above 92, and to not talk bad about her. When I was in 4th grade I kept on threatening her that I was going to harm myself as a way for her to loosen up on me, and this led to us going to a psychiatrist who never really helped. I would cry because none of them understood what I was going through. A kid shouldn’t be expected to not screw up and to not go against what their parent wants them to be and do. Even when I mention a new friend, she sees no reason to not butt in and constantly ask questions about them and their family, like she doesn’t trust my judgement. To make it worse, most of my family are very religious and think this is the way to parent. It is the WORST way to parent. Because of this, I have repeatedly thought about barely wanting her in my life when I get older. I have depression and slight anxiety because I feel like everything I do will fail. I have a low self-esteem because when I make a mistake, my mom picks at me instead of trying to help me!
Pls don't parent this way
Unless you wanna have a kid with big depression
Authoritarian parenting kills parents influence! Influence is the key to good parenting.
Not only do I have such authoritarian parents but almost my entire family bloodline is very restrictive with what I say and what I do and would like to do. My mother often scolds me and never listens to what I have to say. She then shut me off and says "it is the same thing with you." I feel very emotionally neglected and that because of what my parents had to go through as kids. not only were their parents poor but were so emotionally neglectful to my parents back then. My nearby family has become so repressive that they put so many expectations on me. Expectations that don't even make sense. My mom hates it when I cry and start to say that it's the same with me. Is that unconditional love or authoritarian love? What can I do? Wha must I do to put an end to this? Must I leave the household or just live nearby in a new house?
Sometimes they'll try to do this to you as an adult but they have to realize once you hit 18+, you are declared a legal adult and for the most part have to turn them loose and let them grow up
My parents are obviously authoritarian. I’ve grown up with this my whole life and as a result of that I don’t go a day without chronically lying and I’m always paranoid of my parents seeing me watch one YouTube video. It’s messed up when you realize that the only place where you feel safe is the bathroom because your parents won’t take the lock off of that door. I can confidentially say that my parents have messed up my childhood and have created a dysfunctional family. My friends get their phones taken away when they do something horrible like vandalizing while I get my phone taken away because I didn’t eat any food that contained protein for lunch… that’s a legit story.
Authoritarian parents have negative effects. Despite being disciplined, authoritarian parents have also the chance to give negative effects to their children.
-depression : obvious reason
-low self esteem : fears to do anything because he thinks he will fail
-power means anything : authoritarian parents give their children this feeling
-anger : some children of authoritarian parents have anger issues, which they blame to their parents
-hatred : authoritarian parent's children can hate their own parents
-liars : authoritarian parent's children can practice to lie, to avoid punishment.